CARRIE "DEAR DIARY " CHAPTER #5

By: Carrie Baldwin - Director

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Carrie Sue Baldwin Dear Diary “IS TRANSITIONING NECESSARY FOR ALL TRANSSEXUALS?” Well isn’t the title really a question that we have asked ourselves all of our lives? This is really the toughest question of all isn’t it? In the last chapter or article, I made a statement at the end. The Statement still holds true, and is the moving force that will determine the outcome of fully transitioning. “The mind does what it needs to do”. Of course there are many issues to be concerned with prior to making any commitments. In my last article I stated I needed to do a check on my sanity before I committed. The question then became who should transition and do I fit in that category? My soul searching included as much information as I could gather. And questioned everything! How will it affect my job or my relationship with my family? Will my friends support my changing needs? What are the costs involved? Will I ever rid myself of hair if laser or electrolysis is not effective? Am I willing to recognize that I will never be totally or completely changed to the opposite sex? Some studies indicate that there are transsexuals who waiver back and forth in gender and therefore are not good candidates for trying to transition fully. If they by-pass the standard process for such a change then it is generally too late. This is not to be misconstrued with a post-op transsexual who reassesses their changing life. There is no room for error here. This is not something that somebody does because they think it is neat or fun. There is much to be said about enjoying the bliss of being who you are without a phony front. You know what I mean! The front of trying to act correctly in the physical gender that you feel trapped in. But the reality is that there is much pain and suffering involved. Both emotionally and physically as changes incur. And even years later if more physical change is imposed or emotional upheavals in matters related to your decision to allow for change. One recent issue emotionally for me was where my family took a vote to see if I should be allowed to come to my fathers funeral and allow for decisions to remove me from the Will or benefits of the farm. Oh well, where was he all my life until I was 17 anyway? GONE! Dealing with dramatic issues relative to your elective decision to make necessary changes will rock your boat. You need a good solid foundation. Dramatic physical changes like this are truly about your inner self-being of which you identify with in terms of gender. Who are you? And are you what you conceive yourself to be with certainty and for all time? And then making the decisions based on your own convictions, in conjunction with a lot of therapy and analysis by professionals who recognize your needs as greatly as you do. I believe that such changes are dramatic in every way. We don’t look down the road to see what the ramifications of our actions are, but rather, how to suffice our immediate needs at the time. You need somebody to help you through the process that is a professional. I believe in the standards set forth for transsexuals to this day. Meaning that there should be two letters of recommendation by doctors or therapist that allow for surgery. And that Prior to allowing for the full changes, that there should also be a testing time in the chosen gender for which you need to transition. This process is so important, that it separates those that can deal with it, and those who couldn’t. I was told by a psychiatrist to engage the opposite gender in the gender test 30 years before I did. I wasn’t ready or I cared more about others, or I didn’t have enough information, or the world wasn’t ready for my changes in 1971. Or was it the Mormon family and catholic school for 6 years. Is this Social engineering? Many of us had the same hurdles to jump. Sometimes when transitioning as a pre-op we are enjoying the bliss so greatly that we think we can accomplish anything. Here again this is good and this is bad. Good, in that, if the change is good for you then you can develop strength and momentum to help over ride those rough spots coming. And possibly bad if your not being cautious enough to read the road ahead for issues that might affect you. Transitioning is certainly the most important decision you will ever make about yourself in life. I have never met a transsexual that transitioned because they were a failure in life. It may be a good idea to communicate fully with all of the people involved in your current life. Also gather as much information as you can. Concern yourself for the negative or tough issues and be sure you are not skipping over those issues lightly. Transitioning needs to include a strong personal conviction to the long-term change and the strength to overcome unforeseen issues that might otherwise derail you or even disable you. There are many signs by which transsexual behavior is recognized by professional therapist. Such as when body parts become repugnant to look at, depression and more. Get the help you need from people who know how to deal with your issues best. I know that the group therapy sessions that I attended were definitely stepping stones in helping me interpret and thus allowing me to rebuild my foundation. Yet I know many that chose to not participate as a direct result of their feeling like they did not fit in with that group. Were those individuals good candidates for transitioning fully? Therefore, it is a fair statement to say that such a drastic change (Gender change) should therefore be an issue for both the professionals and the individual to assess together. I believe in me. My thought process is of good sound judgements, from good resources. I have every reason to believe that there is good strong hope and love and success for all individuals who follow the path provided to us. Happiness is like a commodity. You have to work to achieve it. . .................................................................................................................

Home page Chapter 1. " The Past " Chapter 2. " A Need For Change " Chapter 3. " Realizing The Change " Chapter 4. " Should I Fully Transition ? " Chapter 5. " IS TRANSITIONING NECESSARY FOR ALL TRANSSEXUALS? " Chapter 6. " Choosing a Doctor" ............................................... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My E-Mail Is --- carriesue1@msn.com
Portland, Oregon ,USA
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